


A Rose For You, My Dear

by camichats



Category: Marvel
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, Hopeful Ending, Love Confessions, Misunderstandings, Near Death Experiences, Pining, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:02:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22605175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: Tony catches Hanahaki Disease when he's traveling with the Guardians, there's just one (main) problem with that: it's a human disease and not many humans in this corner of the universe. He takes a reluctant trip back to Midgard, knowing that he won't be leaving again, and he doesn't know how to tell Gamora or the other Guardians that.
Relationships: Gamora/Tony Stark
Comments: 5
Kudos: 60
Collections: Tony Stark Bingo 2020





	A Rose For You, My Dear

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for Tony Stark bingo T1-New Team (cause Tony's a Guardian :D )

Tony had been in space with the Guardians for nearly a year when it happened. He suppressed the cough at first when it tried to work its way out of his throat, but swallowing only made him feel worse. He covered his mouth and coughed, but there wasn't the slightest bit of relief from it. He coughed one more time, harder, but it still did nothing. He got up from his seat and went through the door sealing the front end from the rooms and mess, waiting until it closed to start coughing up his entire fucking lung it felt like. 

It felt like scraping his throat raw, hurt like a son of a bitch, and at the end of it, he had a disgusting wad of phlegm in his mouth. Making a face, he hurried to the toilets, spitting in the sink. Instead of the usual clear maybe yellowish liquid he was expecting, it was red. Tony froze, staring at the red blob marring the otherwise white sink in horror. "Shit," he croaked. He was _definitely_ not supposed to be coughing up blood. Because Tony was Tony, he relieved himself then washed his hands, the evidence disappearing down the drain amid water and soapy bubbles, and didn't mention what had happened to anyone. It probably wasn't anything serious, and he didn't want to get everyone in a fuss only for it to be nothing. They'd probably tell him that Terrans coughed up blood all the time, and then he would look like even more of an idiot in front of Gamora. Not that he didn't care what the others thought as well, but Gamora seemed iffy about him with their relationship (or whatever they were doing) as it was and he didn't relish annoying her. 

The next couple times it happened, Tony figured that if he dropped dead, they wouldn't get to be mad at him, right? Cause he'd be dead, and you can't get too mad at someone that's dead if you're friends. After the second time, he noticed with a sinking heart that it wasn't just blood he was coughing up, it was a rose petal. He was pining after one person, and Gamora was hardly the type to conceal what she wanted. She was sleeping with him because she liked the sex. That's all there was to their relationship, and Tony knew that for a fact no matter how much he wished it were different and tried to delude himself into finding a different answer. 

Tony knew how long he could put this off, he knew the timeline for this disease, to a certain extent. Howard had had it when he died, and everyone in their family tried not to think about what it meant that he had it when Maria was right there at his side. Treatments worked pretty well, made the day-to-day details of life bearable. He woke up in the middle of the night to vomit up a whole blossom and figured that now was the time he should tell someone. 

"Hey Cap," Tony said, poking his head in. Peter was there alone, with everyone else off in their room or making a questionably legal weapon as they chatted over drinks. "Got a minute?" 

"For you, Tony? Always. You're the only one that calls me Captain or Star Lord around this joint. What's up?" 

"Do you think we could find a doctor that knows about Terran biology?" 

"Yeah I've got a guy. Why?" 

"Why do you think?" 

Peter looked over at him, some of his humor bleeding out. "You okay?" 

"A bit under the weather," Tony said with a shrug. "I waited a while but it hasn't gone away." 

"I hear that. Tell you what, after we drop off this payload we'll head over and get you fixed up." 

"Thanks." 

"No problem, Tones. Gotta make sure you're all healthy otherwise I'm down one reasonable member of this group." 

* * *

The doctor-- a person with dark blue skin and half of xis face supplemented with technology-- frowned at Tony. "I have no fucking idea what's wrong with you. I can tell _something's_ wrong, but I don't know what and I sure as hell don't know how to fix it. Sorry Stark, but you'll have to find a Terran specific doctor." 

Tony sighed heavily because that's what he'd wanted to avoid, but apparently there was no other option. This was the only doctor on this side of the galaxy that Peter could go to because xe was the only one that had half an idea about Terran biology. "Got it. Thanks anyways doc." 

"Sorry I couldn't help more. Uh, if it's not too much trouble?" 

Tony glanced back at xim. 

"Could I get a picture with you? My family will be totally jealous that I got to meet Tony Stark." 

Tony didn't really know what he meant by that, but he nodded. "Sure." When he got back to the ship, he was wondering what to say. He could probably go a while longer without any sort of treatment, but it was starting to make him short of breath when he laid down for too long. It wouldn't take very long before it started effecting how he fought though, and then they'd get pissed that he didn't mention anything earlier. 

"Hey Tony, how'd it go?" Peter asked absently, checking the release on his mask. 

"Not great, xe didn't know what it was." 

Peter looked up, concerned. 

"Think we can schedule in a trip to Terra sometime soon?" 

"Yeah, it's not like we have any contracts right now." 

Tony nodded. "Thanks Peter." 

He expected for that to be the (temporary) end of it, but Peter was still staring at him, that little frown on his face. "You gonna be okay? I thought you never wanted to go back." 

"I don't, but I don't want to die either," Tony said drily, hoping that Peter would read it as a joke instead of a possibility. 

"Well that's fair, I'm pretty sure if you died, Gamora would kill me in retribution." 

Tony rolled his eyes. "She would not." 

"If she didn't, Nebula and Rocket definitely would. It's a good thing you don't want to be in charge otherwise I would've been deposed of a week after you came aboard." 

"You put too much faith in how much our teammates like me." They liked him, certainly, but not _that_ much. 

"Uh-huh. We'll head for Terra in the morning when we leave." 

"Thanks Cap. I'll work on fixing the engine for you now that I'm done," Tony said as he walked into the _Milano_. 

"You're the best!" Peter yelled after him. 

* * *

Gamora was sitting on top of him, fingers in his hair as they kissed messily. She moved her hands down so her fingers were pressing against the back of his neck, and started moving, the muscles in her thighs flexing as she rode him. 

"God," Tony breathed, hands clenching on her back. 

Gamora grinned, pushing him down so he was laying flat on his back. It was something they'd done a dozen times before, and it should've been fine. Would have been fine if, when Tony's breath hitched, it didn't dislodge something in his lungs. 

_Oh no_ , he thought, trying to swallow it down like that ever worked. This felt like a bad one, and his eyes went wide, pushing hurriedly at Gamora to get off of him. She did, looking confused as he rolled off the bed and hacked into the trash can. After a minute, she settled on the floor next to him, rubbing at his back as he coughed up clumps of petals coated in blood. When the coughing stopped but he was still trying to catch his breath, he muttered, "Sorry." 

"Don't apologize, you didn't do anything wrong," she whispered back, staring at the contents as worry settled in her stomach. "You need to see a doctor about this." 

"Yeah." Tony spit some of the excess blood out. "We're headed to Terra right now." 

"We are?" 

Tony glanced at her. "Peter didn't tell you?" 

"I don't ask him about our flight plans, it's not my area of expertise." Also because any time she asks Peter where they're going he starts in on fuel costs and how much of a genius pilot he is to be saving them so much time with his flight routes. "You told him you were sick?" 

Tony nodded. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" 

There were different answers he could give here: didn't want you to worry, didn't want to make a big deal out of it, this isn't that serious, I already know what it is, etc, etc. "Don't like thinking about it," was what he went with. Every word scraped against his throat, and he swallowed automatically to try and find relief but it didn't work. Nothing he tried worked, but it didn't stop him from making attempts. His voice sounded rough, and it wasn't even from anything fun. "Figured if I could get rid of it, there was no reason to tell everyone. It's not contagious." 

"...I suppose that makes sense." She ran a hand through his hair, pushing it away from his face and kissed his shoulder. "I'll get you some water." 

"Thanks," he croaked. 

Gamora grabbed a robe-- Tony's, because he liked them after a shower but she didn't usually see the point in them-- and tied it loosely, heading out of the door. 

Tony sighed, knocking his head against the cold rim of the trashcan. This was why he didn't want to tell her: because any reaction she had wouldn't be enough for what he wanted. He'd ruined a night between them, and now things were going to be different. Who wanted to have sex with a sick person? Tony knew he wouldn't, not to mention that he'd just proved he couldn't make it through the night. Of course, his sex life was probably the least of his worries right now. He knew the course of this disease. 

* * *

It got worse. Tony thought he had the timeline down down pretty well, but on the trip to Earth it got worse than it should have. Every time he got to his feet and he got lightheaded. Fortunately, they didn't run into any fights, because Tony would have been completely useless. Sitting up was fine, but he'd had to start sleeping that way because he couldn't breathe for shit if he laid down. Gamora wasn't exactly mother-henning, but she was hovering, checking in on him all the time like if she didn't he might drop dead. 

"Peter says we're getting close," she said, dropping in on him for one such visit. 

Tony nodded. He had to actually focus on breathing sometimes. It was a pain in the ass, but it was better than focusing on Peter. It was stupid for him to be jealous, right? Gamora and Peter had known each other for a while before Tony showed up; they had plenty of opportunities to get together if that was what either of them wanted. Peter hadn't shown particular interest in her that Tony could see, but Peter also flirted with anyone he laid eyes on so it was difficult to tell when he was serious and when he wasn't. 

"Tony?" she asked, and he looked over at her. Her face was serious, arms crossed over her chest like she was prepared for something big. 

"Yeah?" 

She stared at him for a moment, some sort of emotion swirling in her eyes but fuck if Tony knew what it was. "Nothing," she said, giving him a small smile. "Get some rest, I'll come get you when we enter the atmosphere." 

"Thanks," he muttered, and she nodded before leaving. It was stupid. If Gamora wanted Peter, she'd have him. There wasn't any bypassing his insecurities though, not knowing that he was the discount version of Peter. They were both from Earth yeah, but Peter was the one that owned the ship they were all riding on, he'd saved an entire planet from getting destroyed by an egomaniac, and he knew a hell of a lot more about space and fighting than Tony did. It was weird to be the cheaper version of someone else, but here he was. He didn't begrudge Peter for it, which might have made it easier to deal with, but Peter was just... nice. An asshole version of nice, but nice all the same. And even then, he was mostly an asshole to Drax and Rocket because they annoyed him, he was good to the rest of them, especially Tony. 

He had his phone around here somewhere. When they got close enough, he should be able to send Rhodey a message, let him know what was going on. It was slow going, but he managed to find it by the time Gamora came back to his room. 

**Miss me honey bear?**

**_Ffs Tony can't you give me more warning than when you're at Earth's doorstep?_ **

**_Fucking council called me up in a panic and it's just you_ **

**_Why does this always happen_ **

**_Get your ass down here before I go crazy standing next to these assholes_ **

"Everything okay?" Gamora asked. 

"Yeah." He started shifting towards the side of the bed to get up, and Gamora walked over to help him. "I was just letting someone know we were coming." 

"Oh," she said, sounding surprised. "That's a good idea." 

"Do you normally not?" 

She wrapped an arm around his waist to support his weight as they walked. It wasn't necessary, but he'd had that argument with her before and he didn't want to rehash it just to lose again. "I'm sure you've noticed that we usually land on the planet and hope for the best." 

"On Kree-" 

"Peter plays nice with Kree so they don't arrest him. Contacts them in advance, asks politely for repairs, and makes sure that Rocket stays in line while we're on the surface. For everywhere else, I think it doesn't occur to him." 

Tony snorted. "That's our mighty Star Lord." 

"He loves that you call him that, you know." 

"Yeah, I know. It makes him happy, so why not?" It was so easy to do that he didn't see the point in refusing, plus it made him happy. Peter tried to pretend he was a die-hard, stick-it-to-the-man rebel, but everything he did around Tony just made him seem like a teddy bear wearing a leather jacket: soft and cuddly, and ultimately cuter for the leather jacket, not tougher. 

"I suppose," she said neutrally. They made it to the front, and she helped ease him down before taking her own seat. 

**Got a nasty case of hanahaki, can you find me a doctor? Pretty please sour punch?**

The typing bubble showed up, then disappeared. Showed up again, for longer this time, then vanished. Eventually, Rhodey texted **_Helen is waiting for you at the Tower._ **

**Thanks sugar plum.**

When they landed, there was a little party waiting for them. Rhodey was at the front, and Tony grinned, picking up his pace a little to reach him faster. The others were there too-- the Rogue Avengers as they'd been labeled before Tony left-- but he ignored them. He didn't want to see them, and he didn't have anything to say to them. Since he was sick, he _really_ didn't want to deal with them. Therefore: ignoring them like they weren't even there. 

"Honey bear!" Tony greeted cheerfully, throwing his arms around him. Gamora was still doing her hovering thing, but Tony had sort of run out of the ship before she could put a customary arm around his waist. "God I missed you." 

"Missed you too, Tones. Uh," he said, dropping his voice lower so only Tony could hear him, "do you think you could tell your friend not to kill me?" 

Curious about who he meant, Tony dropped his arms and looked around. The only one who was close by and also looked anything other than pleasant was Gamora. Tony rolled his eyes, shoving lightly at Rhodey's shoulder. "She's not going to kill you, that's just what she looks like when she meets new people. Gamora, this is my best friend, Rhodey. Rhodey, this is Gamora, she's probably the most badass person you'll ever meet." 

"High praise. Nice to meet you," he said to Gamora, and she gave a bare incline of her head to acknowledge it. Tony wanted to frown; despite what he'd told Rhodey, she normally wasn't this stand-offish. "Doctor Cho's waiting for you inside." The rest of the Guardians had gotten closer by now, and Rhodey addressed them. "This is Agent Romanoff, she'll be available for anything you need." 

"Thanks," Peter said automatically, and Nebula looked like she might kill her just for something to do. Of course, Nebula often looked that way and she never acted on it since coming to the good side. 

Rhodey turned to head inside, and Tony followed him. Gamora made a move like she was going to do the same, but Tony stopped her. "You can stay out here if you want." 

Gamora frowned. "You don't want me to come with you?" 

"I think you'd be kinda bored. Take in the sights, keep Mantis from touching too many people, have some fun." 

"Okay, I guess," she said slowly. She watched him walk all the way until the doors closed and she couldn't see him anymore. 

Once they were alone, Rhodey asked, "Do they know what you have?" 

"No. I looked for some help out there, but it's an Terran sp- human specific disease. They don't have much reason to know if they can't catch it. I just need a lil treatment and I can be on my way." 

"Who was that with you out there? Ga-" 

"Gamora." 

"Are you dating?" 

"If we were, I wouldn't be having this problem right now." 

"Does she know that it's her?" 

"No, and you're not going to tell her." 

"Tony, she might-" 

"She doesn't. Trust me." 

"You know I trust you, but not when it comes to people being attracted to you. For fuck's sake, I was in love with you for like three years and you never noticed." 

"You were what?" 

"Long time ago," he said, waving it off. "My point is that if you haven't said anything to her, there's a chance she feels the same way." 

"She doesn't." 

"You're one hundred percent sure about that?" 

"Yes." 

Rhodey looked at him a moment longer then shook his head. Maybe Tony was right, maybe he wasn't. Right now, Rhodey wouldn't be able to convince him of anything. 

* * *

"It's-" Helen said, frowning a the results in her hands "-it's a different strain." 

"What?" 

"Hanahaki isn't an adaptable disease, that's one of the reasons people can contract it and live the rest of their lives with treatment. This is like nothing I've ever seen before, I don't know if the usual treatments will work. We can start them while I research this, but you're going to have to stick around for a few days." 

"Thanks Helen," he said, feeling numb. He tried shooting his friend a smile as Helen moved around the room. "Well Rhodey, looks like you get to keep me around a while longer." 

"No complaints here," he said, trying to smile back. "It's the how that bothers me. It'll be good though." He clapped Tony on the shoulder, not too hard since he was mindful of jostling him and upsetting his lungs somehow. "There's been new music, a good movie or two, we can catch up." 

"Sounds good." 

Deciding that trying to keep an upbeat mood wasn't doing any damn good, Rhodey's smile dropped. "I know you don't want to be here, Tones. You left for a reason, and you stayed away. When we said goodbye, we both knew it was for good. Knowing that you hate it here makes it hard to be happy to see you, but I am trying to help you here. Just- fuck, I don't know. Ignore all the other bullshit and just try to get better. If you don't want to deal with the new team, you don't have to. As far as anyone is concerned, you're part of an alien group here for some medical help, and as such you're not around for pestering." 

"Sounds nice. What are the chances of it actually happening?" 

"Considering me and Carol are the team leaders, pretty good." 

"Yeah? All the assholes fall in line?" 

"I wouldn't say that, but they listen well enough now that they've had to deal with the consequences of their bullshit." 

"Oh it sounds like you've been having _tons_ of fun." 

"So much I'm drowning in it," he said drily. 

Tony snorted. "I'll go tell the team what's going on," he said, scratching at his hair as he walked away. 

"You are?" Rhodey said, sounding surprised. 

"Uh, I mean, not everything, but that it's gonna be a couple days." 

"I didn't think..." Rhodey started to say, trailing off with a frown, and Tony understood what he meant. When he said 'team', Rhodey thought he was still talking about the Avengers. 

"The Guardians." An awkward pause as that sunk in. "Sorry, I should have specified." 

"Tony Stark? Apologizing? I'll have to mark this down in my calendar." 

"You do that. Live it up, cause it won't happen again." 

"Mhm. Friday, where are the Guardians right now?" 

"They are in the common area. I suggest you remind them that Boss's personal life is none of their business." 

Rhodey sighed like he expected that but was disappointed all the same. "I will. Thanks Fri." 

"Anytime Colonel." 

When they got to the room, Gamora had her arms folded and was glaring them down. She looked more murderous than usual, even Mantis looked angry. They'd divided into three groups: Guardians, past Rogue Avengers, and the Avengers that hadn't been on Steve's side. The first and second groups looked like they hated each other, and the third like they wanted to have popcorn to watch the showdown. 

"Tony," Peter said, sounding relieved. "Did you know these guys don't like the movie Footloose?" 

"Peter, you're the only person I've ever met that likes it, I just didn't want to burst your bubble." 

"What?" He kind of sounded like a kid who'd just been told Santa Claus wasn't real. 

"Oh don't give me that look, I'll still watch it with you." 

Peter considered that, looking suspicious. "I'm holding you to that," he said, pointing a finger at him. "This was a super long trip and so far everything about this place is disappointing." He got to his feet. "Let's go, the sooner we're gone, the better, but I can stick around a couple hours to rewatch it." 

"About that, might be a couple days." When Peter frowned, concerned, Tony shrugged. "Inconclusive results, nothing to worry about." 

* * *

"Terminal," Helen was saying, flipping through papers and pointing out scans of his lungs to him as she talked. She sounded more frustrated by the minute, her hands flicking with harsh movements to display her mood. "There's no expert on Hanahaki because it was treatable if the usual cure doesn't happen, so I don't have anyone to call in for help, and that's _if_ you would let me call anyone in. You have tried telling the focus, right?" 

"It's complicated," Tony croaked. 

Helen narrowed her eyes at him. "Of course it is, but you're going to die if you don't try, so I _need you to try_ . I'm going to keep trying on my end Tony, but you can't expect for me to pull out a miracle. Curing a new strain of a disease is hardly my area of expertise, and I refuse to be the one that lets Tony Stark die. You are _going_ to talk to them." 

"No," he said softly. 

Helen's jaw worked, and he could tell she wanted to shove the papers in his face and tell him all the information again. She wanted to hammer it in his head that he only had one real chance at life so that he would listen. The problem was, he did understand. He also understood that Gamora didn't love him, and telling her under that kind of pressure was incredibly unfair. 

"Thank you Helen." 

She swallowed thickly and ripped a piece of paper off, handing it to him. "This should keep the pain at bay, maybe slow the progression." 

"Thanks." She nodded once and went back to work, and he got to his feet slowly, heading for where the Guardians were sitting. After that first meeting, Rhodey had found a different section of the Compound for them to stay in. It wasn't far from where the medbay was, but Tony was moving so slowly these days that it took him a while to get there. 

As soon as he entered the room, Gamora got up and helped him to a seat. 

"How'd it go?" Mantis asked. 

"Eh, not great," Tony said casually. "You guys can go on and head back to your normal corner of space, I'm gonna stay here." 

"What?!" 

"Tony, what the hell, we're not leaving you," Peter said, sounding offended by the very idea. 

Beside him, Gamora's hands tightened into fists. Tony wished he knew how to interpret that. 

He should've known better than to think they'd accept it without an explanation, but he'd hoped. If he had the extra breath to sigh right now, he would have. 

"What's going on?" Peter asked, looking concerned. "You were acting like this is no big deal, did something happen?" 

Tony rubbed at his chest as he relaxed further into the chair. None of them had experience with Hanahaki, none of them knew the implications of it. He still wasn't going to tell them flat out what it was because they'd go and look it up or ask around, and Tony didn't want to deal with any of that shit. One word summed up the important part for them, just as it had for Tony when Helen was telling him, "Terminal. I'm no good out there, but there's no need for all of you to stay behind just to twiddle your thumbs. So go. I'll be good." 

"Good?" Gamora repeated. Her voice was deathly quiet. Carefully even. She was looking at Tony like she was scared enough that it was making her angry. For all Tony wanted it to be romantic, he knew it was because they were friends. Good friends, and he wouldn't actually trade that for anything. "You just told us you're dying." 

"Seems... dishonorable to leave you alone," Nebula added. 

"You're part of the gang, we can't just- you- this is," Peter spluttered. "I'm going for a walk." 

"I am Groot," Groot said, getting to his feet and joining him. Rocket jumped down from the couch and did the same. 

Mantis wrung her hands together and said something about how much Tony meant to the team and to her and if there was anything she could do to help, all he had to do was ask. It was a nice thought, but she started crying half way through and most of it was unintelligible until she finally wiped at her eyes and ran off. Drax opened and closed his mouth several times like he wanted to say something but had no idea what. Eventually, he declared that he had to find food and left. Nebula took one look at her sister and left without a word. She did pat Tony on the shoulder as she passed though, and that meant a lot. 

"Well that went well," he muttered, now alone with Gamora in the too-large room. 

"You're dying," she said tightly, "and you tell me in front of everyone." 

"I wouldn't be dying less if I'd told you in private." And it's not like he had wanted to tell them about it at all. 

Her jaw worked, and this time she asked, "What disease is it?" 

"It's a human disease, what do you think knowing will help?" 

She just stared at him. 

There was no way of getting out of this without making her more suspicious. She'd go to Rhodey, and Rhodey wouldn't see any reason not to answer. While he was at it, he'd probably tell her that she was the object of his affection since he would view it as helping. It would be better just to tell her now than risk whatever would come from that conversation. "It's called Hanahaki. Lung infection or whatever, it makes it hard to breathe." 

"And makes you cough up blood." 

"In most cases it looks worse than it is, I didn't think there was a reason to worry." 

Gamora stared at him like she couldn't decide if she wanted to hug him or hit him upside the head. In the end, she shook her head, looking defeated-- which was definitely a strange expression for her. 

* * *

Gamora was sitting in the room she'd been given for their stay, staring down at her hands as her mind ran circles. The light glinted off the rings adorning her fingers, and it made her inexplicably angry. Tony never told her fucking _anything_. He didn't tell her when he first got sick, she'd had to bully him into telling her what it was even called, and she figured out what the disease meant from someone else entirely. Unrequited love, the kid had said-- not technically a kid, but he still had baby fat in his cheeks so she didn't care that he was of age on this planet. 

She and Tony were together, and he was dying because he was in love with someone that didn't love him back. You didn't have to be a genius to figure out who it was: Peter. Thinking back on it, it seemed obvious. Tony was always looking at Peter the moment he entered the room, laughed at all of his stupid jokes-- and actually understood them, something she'd never managed over the years they knew each other-- even called him Star Lord like he liked. Peter was the first one he connected with, but it had quickly become obvious that Peter wasn't interested, always chasing alien tail (sometimes literally). So Tony had turned his attention elsewhere, and Gamora had jumped at the chance, loving Tony's smile and the way he looked excited about every little thing, even now, after he'd been with them for so long. 

_Stupid_ , she thought, fingers increasing their pressure on each other until it started to hurt. Tony was dying, and all she could think about were her own feelings. Peter had no idea, and Tony certainly wasn't going to tell him. Normally she wouldn't get in the middle of it, trusting that they would take care of it themselves. Well, maybe not that, but it wasn't up to her to tell others' secrets. Violating Tony's trust was something she was loathe to do, but Tony would rather die than take a chance. If he wasn't going to look after himself, she would have to. 

Peter may not love Tony now, but it was impossible not to fall for Tony if you took the time to notice him that way. It was how she'd fallen into a relationship with him, after all. Her stomach rolled at the idea of telling Peter all of this, but it needed to happen. She headed for his room, only to realize that he was probably watching another old Terran movie with Mantis. A little bit of searching and she actually found him in the kitchen, making a massive sandwich. "What the hell did you put on that?" 

"It would take less time to name what I _didn't_ put on it." 

Gamora's mouth twisted in disgust as Peter happily picked it up and took a massive bite. 

"Sho did you need sumfin?" he asked, mouth more than half full. 

"It's about Tony." She settled into a chair next to him, knowing that no one else was close enough to overhear. 

Peter looked worried, chewing hurriedly. "What is it?" 

"I admit I don't understand Terran diseases that well, but apparently this one is caused by unrequited love. The only known cure is a return of those feelings." 

Peter was nodding, a look of determination taking hold. "Who is it? If we push the engines to their max and do a few- ahem- inadvisable maneuvers, we should be able to grab 'em and bring them back in time. Uh, grab them of their complete and total volition, I would never dream of kidnapping someone for Tony's well-being." 

Gamora gave him a flat look, and he just blinked at her as innocently as he could manage. Given that he spent most of his life as a Ravager, that look didn't work so well. 

When he dropped the look and she continued to stare, he said, "What?" 

"He's in love with _you_." 

"Huh? No he's not." Peter was pretty sure he'd notice something like that. Granted he didn't notice much of anything going on in his ship, but _that_ he would've noticed, he was sure of it. 

"He is. Do you feel the same?" 

He wanted to tell her that she was wrong again, but Gamora looked certain. "I- no." 

"Could you?" 

Peter was pretty loose with his relationships, but he was also pretty sure that he didn't like men. Tony was great, no question, but there was nothing romantic or sexual going on there. He shook his head. 

"But-" 

"Did he say that? Did he say the actual words to you that he was in love with me?" 

"He didn't have to spell it out. It's obvious." 

"Well, do me a favor, and confirm it." If it was true, Peter would figure out a way around his sexuality, because like _fuck_ was he going to let Tony die over something like that. If it wasn't-- like Peter suspected-- then they could focus on whoever was on the receiving end of Tony's affections and drag them on over. 

Gamora sighed, shaking her head. She pushed herself up from the table and said nothing further as she left the room. Peter didn't get it. He didn't see the way Tony looked at him, like he was always waiting for the barest scrap of praise and attention. Oh Tony covered it up rather well, but Gamora was always watching him, so it was easy to tell where his attention was. 

* * *

Tony was lying in bed, hooked up to oxygen and something else she didn't recognize. Pain relief, maybe? That's what she hoped it was, anyways. He was tapping at the tablet in front of him, but his fingers moved lethargically, almost like he was half-asleep; it was as quickly as he could move these days. 

She gave a complimentary knock on the open door to let him know she was there. 

Tony looked up and smiled weakly. Everything he did these days was weak; he didn't have the energy for anything more. "Hey." 

"Hey. How do you feel?" 

His smile faded away, and he was left feeling embarrassed and stupid. Every day he hoped she just wanted to see him to visit, and every day it was to check up on him. There were still feelings there obviously, but they weren't the ones he wanted them to be. It was like when Mantis checked on his status, but with less morbidity on Gamora's part. It still felt like she was waiting for the day he finally croaked so she could get off planet and back on the _Milano_ where she belonged. "Same as yesterday. What've you been up to?" 

"Talking to Peter." 

Yeah, that made sense. 

"About you." 

That didn't. 

"And now I wanted to talk to you about it." 

"Why?" 

"I know how you feel about him," she said, leaning forward. Her hands were braced on her knees like she was prepared to argue about this for as long as it took. "And it's- fine. But he doesn't believe me, and I need you to tell him to his face." 

"What?" 

"This isn't just about your feelings Tony, this is your _life_. You're amazing, if you tell Peter how you feel, he'll-" 

"How I feel? What the fuck does that have to do with him?" As if this whole thing wasn't embarrassing enough. 

Gamora blinked, taken aback. "Tony you're dying because you refuse to admit it." She paused, swallowing and growing more determined. "I know what causes this disease, I asked around." 

Great. Just- just great. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back into the pillow. How did she think the cure worked anyways? Even if he fell out of love with her, it would be too late. Once the roots took hold, there were limited ways to get rid of them. Falling out of love with the person that doesn't love you back wasn't an option. He needed to breathe. In and out. The oxygen piping in through his nose made it easier. "If you know," he said slowly, "then stop talking. It's done." 

"It's done?" she repeated incredulously. "How can you say that? You're always looking to the future, looking to the next step." 

The next step was him dying. There wasn't much he could do to prepare himself for that past what he'd already done. After he convinced her to fucking accept that there was nothing she could reasonably do, it was just dying. "There is no next step." 

"You've given up," she said, staring at him like she couldn't believe it. That was fair. Tony couldn't believe it sometimes himself, and it was impossible for him to forget what with the nasal cannula and feeling so weak that he couldn't make it five feet to get to the bathroom without help, and forget about showering. He couldn't even stand. Eating a single, small meal took him around an hour. 

"Yes." 

"How can you do that?! You're _Tony_ , you can do anything you put your mind to." 

Tony had to have a minor coughing fit before he could reply. "Gamora... accept it. Little bit longer and you'll be back in space with the crew." He coughed again, weakly. "I just want to enjoy the time I have left." 

She looked at him, jaw clenched in anger, then stormed out of the room. 

Tony picked up the tablet that he'd all but forgotten about and continued writing notes on Rhodey's current armor. Rhodey probably already knew and was working on it, but it made Tony feel better to be doing something that might be helpful. It's not like he had a lot of options right now anyways. 

* * *

Tony got worse. Gamora was still upset that he seemed to have accepted his fate, but she kept visiting. Maybe it was because she thought she could convince him to keep fighting, or maybe she just wanted to keep seeing him until there wasn't anyone to visit. Tony didn't know which one it was, and he didn't care. Just as long as she kept coming by and talking to him. 

She didn't talk about anything important since there wasn't anything important _to_ talk about, but it was nice. It was good to hear her voice, but it was also good that he could keep up with what was going on with the Guardians even if he couldn't interact with all of them like he used to. 

Mantis stopped visiting because it made her too sad, and Tony understood. Groot, Rocket, and Drax made cursory visits, but none of them were very emotional so Tony was touched that they visited at all. He didn't say that of course, but he was pretty sure they knew. If not, Mantis would probably tell them, she was like that. 

Gamora was nearly a permanent fixture in the room, and Peter was there pretty often too. Mostly he came when Gamora needed to take care of a few things, but he had entertaining stories from his time with the Ravagers that he refused to tell around her. He visited when she was there sometimes, but she'd always give him these significant looks and nod to Tony like she wanted Peter to tell him something. 

Rhodey and the good set of Avengers visited-- Tony didn't want to see the others, it would just be more trouble than it was worth, and he couldn't get away if he needed to-- but it was normally all at once when they got done with a debrief or were about to go to a team dinner. Truth was though... Rhodey didn't come by very often, and Tony didn't want him to. Jim had had to deal with thinking he was dead too many times to have to see the slow progression of it; he deserved better than that. He could tell that it killed Rhodey a little every time he saw Tony wither that much more. 

Tony was coughing up too much blood, and even with the oxygen he felt light headed twenty four-seven. It was around the time when he was starting to fall into a depression that Peter came to visit and locked the door. It was hard to get Peter in a bad mood, but he obviously was right now. He wasn't angry, but the general air of happiness was gone. He looked severe, sad. He took the seat that Gamora normally filled and gingerly picked up Tony's hand. "How are you feeling?" 

"Great. I could climb Mount Everest in record time." 

Peter gave a weak smile and rubbed his thumb across the top of Tony's knuckles. He'd lost weight, and they stuck out all knobbly. "Gamora has this theory about how to help cure you, and I told her it wasn't going to work, but, y'know, I figured there's no harm in trying." 

"Okay," Tony said slowly. He didn't really see where this was going. Gamora had said that thing before about hoping Tony could fall in love with Peter and get Peter to fall for him and that would somehow cure him, but by now she'd surely realized that wouldn't work. 

"I'm going to ask, and I want you to be completely honest with me. No trying to protect me or save yourself some pain, okay? I need you to agree." 

Tony nodded. 

"Good." Peter took a deep breath. "Are you in love with me?" 

Tony blinked. Shook his head. 

Peter blew out a breath, shaking his head. He looked almost disappointed, and very definitely like he was hurting. "I'm glad I'm not the one doing this to you, but it would've been so easy to fix, you know?" 

"You don't love me." 

"Well no, but I would have dealt with that later. You're a pretty great guy Tony, don't know if you've noticed." 

"You think you could have made yourself fall in love with me." 

"Pretty much," he said with a shrug. "But it doesn't matter anymore. I want you to be okay, Tony. You told us that this was terminal, but I kept thinking you'd find a way out of it." 

He was still holding onto Tony's hand, and Tony liked it. People never went out of their way to touch him, and Tony couldn't do it himself now that he was basically trapped in bed. 

"You haven't," Peter said, mouth twisting. "You're- you're part of the group, Tony. You belong on the _Milano_ with us, and I can't believe that when we leave here you're not going to be with us. It's-" Peter cut himself off, squeezing his eyes shut. "I'm gonna miss you like hell," he said, then practically ripped his hand away as he sped from the room. Tony had been making a lot of people cry lately. 

"Sorry," Tony muttered to the empty audience. 

* * *

He'd been fading for a while. The medication suppressed the coughing most of the time, and then they'd do this procedure twice a day that vacuumed out some of the petals-- Dr. Cho insisted that that wasn't a very good comparison, but Tony was going to keep saying it. 

Helen gave him a day, maybe a day and a half, and it wasn't anything like fading. He was coughing all the time, constantly leaned over to spit out petals and buds covered in blood into the bin on his lap. All he could taste was iron, and everything he saw was blurred. Death smelled sweet on the air, and all Tony could think was that this was better than dying in a dirty cave or the vacuum of space. Here he had lights and a friend with him to the very end, though he half-wished he could send Gamora away because this couldn't be easy for her. But she was steady as a rock at his side, and he needed the comfort she offered as it all finally came to an end. 

Gamora was holding him, and he didn't need to see her to know she was crying. Maybe he hadn't been enough for her as a partner, but he'd been a hell of a friend. She had one arm around his shoulders, and the other was pushing back his hair. 

No air was enough. He was drowning in it, and he didn't have the strength to cough anymore. His lungs pulsed and contracted, trying to force the contaminants out, but he was physically incapable of it. He wouldn't last more than a few minutes like this, and he'd pass out soon enough. 

"I'm sorry Tony," she whispered, rocking him back and forth unconsciously. "I love you, I wish I could have fixed this for you." She pressed a shaky kiss to the side of his head. "I'm sorry it wasn't me." 

All the movement in him shuddered and slowed. 

* * *

Tony was blinking his eyes open. This was definitely not the afterlife, it was just the hospital room. Huh. He shouldn't be waking up. He knew the numbers and the chances of him surviving the day. He sure as hell didn't have the health left to fall asleep and wake back up. The last time he closed his eyes should have been the last time ever. 

"Good, you're awake," Helen said with a smile. She reached down and pressed her fingers to his wrist, then looked at her watch, checking his pulse. "We lost you for a minute there, but you've always had a way of surviving what no one else could." 

"What happened?' he asked, more mouthing words than actually saying them. 

"It would seem you're cured. I want to run a few more tests to make sure it's completely gone, and obviously you'll need some time on Earth to recuperate, but as far as I can tell, you're on the mend." 

Tony swallowed, then coughed and- _fuck_ that hurt. It felt like someone had taken a cheese grater to his throat and played around for a couple hours, methodically scraping off the protective layer until all he had was exposed nerve endings. "Your meds?" 

"No." She let go of his wrist and went about checking the machines he was hooked up to. "The Guardians aren't sharing, but I suspect one of them had a timely confession to make. Perhaps ask that next time, in a life or death situation, they speak up much sooner?" 

That wasn't possible. The only one that had been with him was- Gamora. "Where are they?" 

"Around the compound as they have been for the duration of your stay. Would you like for me to call them?" 

Tony gave a small shake of his head. "You have better things to do. Thanks Doc." 

"There is nothing more important than taking care of my patients, Mister Stark. Would you like for me to call them?" she repeated. 

He nodded. 

"Very well. Try not to speak too much, your esophagus needs time to heal." 

Tony nodded again, but he didn't know how much he'd keep to that. His memories were fuzzy, and even though he tried to single out the time right before he passed out, it remained a blur. Gamora had been talking to him. He remembered that much. It didn't take much extrapolating to figure out that she must have told him that she loved him. She'd figured out that he really was going to die because he fell in love with her, and she'd stopped it. She'd cut it a little close, admittedly, but Tony figured it was better late than never. Hell, he wasn't even going to mention this to her unless she brought it up first-- which she wouldn't, who would ever want to talk about that? 

The Guardians entered the room-- including Gamora. She looked at him, but there was a distance there, the kind she usually reserved for people she just met but hadn't had a chance to judge. Like Tony was a stranger to her. That hurt like a motherfucker, but he deserved it and he knew it. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she leaned against the wall casually. 

"Hey," Peter said, trying on a smile. "You had us worried for months only for you to not die? Do you have any idea how much money we could've made in this time?" 

Mantis gasped, looking at Peter like he'd just killed Tony's puppy instead of said something _hilarious_. 

Tony coughed harshly when he tried to laugh, and that just hurt more. "I'll make my next near-death experience more profitable," he croaked. 

"See that you do." He stepped closer and ruffled a hand through Tony's hair like he was a child. 

"Don't listen to him Tony," Mantis said, a quiver running through her antenna. "That was terrifying." 

"It's a joke, Mantis," Peter reminded her. "Tony knows better than to risk dying on us again. Right?" 

Tony gave a weak smile. 

"I'll ask Doctor Cho about your recovery time, see when we can get out of here." 

Tony coughed again, and he really hoped part of Doctor Cho's plan for his recovery included something to soothe his throat because he didn't want to deal with it hurting this bad for weeks. His eyes glanced to Gamora again, and she still had that distance about her. He'd give it a day to see if she would initiate a conversation about it. If she didn't, Tony would talk to Rhodey about staying on Earth. The thought was depressing, but it would be better than making her deal with him on a daily basis after what he put her through with this. 

* * *

The Guardians left and came back, but never all of them at once like they'd done the first time. Rocket came back-- with Groot, of course-- to make Tony watch as he took apart and rebuilt a gun he'd found. It was the middle of the night when Gamora came back by herself. 

Tony was tired ever since he woke back up, but something in his meds was keeping him up. The most he'd slept in one segment was forty minutes, but that was it. So it was-- he looked over at the clock-- almost three in the morning, and he was staring mindlessly at a tv screen. He'd been watching this show for the last five hours and he knew absolutely nothing about it. 

The only reason he knew it was Gamora was because she had a certain way she moved in the shadows, and the only reason he saw her at all was because the door made a noise every time it opened. She stood near the head of the bed and leaned against the wall, staring at the television too. 

She was completely silent, and he managed to fall asleep for a few minutes before he woke back up. She was still there. 

"What?" he asked, and it was quiet enough in the room that she could hear his weak voice. 

"You're coming back with us, right?" 

He didn't say anything. 

"You belong on the _Milano_. Not here, on some crumbling planet." 

It wasn't crumbling, but he didn't have the energy to argue that. From her perspective, it probably was. They'd seen nicer planets on their travels. "Wouldn't want-" he stopped, cleared his throat with a pained grimace "-to put you out." 

"Put me out of what? I have no idea what you're talking about, but I don't think I agree with whatever it is. You want to come home? Then come home. Don't stay or leave on my account. Just do what you want." She didn't move. They weren't looking at each other; they were both staring at the television screen with the laugh track playing and bright colors shining in the darkened room. 

"Fine," he rasped. If she insisted it wasn't a problem, then he wasn't going to worry about it. Lies. He wasn't going to let it effect his decision, and that, at least, was the truth. Which meant he was going to be back on the _Milano_ as soon as Doctor Cho cleared him, with a hug for Rhodey and little to no words for almost everyone else. Maybe he should look into passing messages from the ship to Midgard though, just to keep in touch with him a little bit. He'd hate for something big to happen in his honey bear's life and not know about it. Sort of like the penpal bullshit they'd had to do when Rhodey had first joined the military and email and phone calls weren't an option. 

* * *

Helen, bless her, was aggravated beyond belief with him for trying to leave so quickly, but she gave him all the advice, medications, and knowledge she had on his recovery. "And of course none of this will matter if your weakened immune system catches an alien disease out there." 

"Your concern is touching, doc. I'll be fine." 

"You weren't fine when you showed up, and you're not fine now that you're leaving, but sure, this will be the time you do it." 

"Sarcasm doesn't suit you." 

"No better than death suits you," she said, giving him a stern look. 

Dead patients probably looked bad on her record. Besides, he'd survived a lot of shit out there, the only reason this had hit him so hard was because it was a Midgard based disease that no one else even knew about. "You're overreacting, I'll be fine." 

* * *

"You know what confuses me," Gamora said as they packed crates onto the ship. 

"The primitive weapons?" Tony guessed. 

She ignored that. "How you managed to get a love sickness focused on me when we were already together." There was an angry twist to her mouth, and the way she set down items had a clip to it. 

Oh. They were having this conversation. Tony glanced around, but it was just the two of them. Doubtlessly, Gamora had known that before she brought it up. 

"You nearly died, and I have no fucking idea why, when I was right there." She stopped moving crates and curled her hands into fists on top of the pile in front of her. "I thought you were in love with Peter," she said, the words gritted out like she was forcing them through rocks. "But he talked to you, and you said it wasn't him. When I asked-" she cut off, clenching her jaw. "You said. That." She cleared her throat, her words halting and slow as she tried to find the right ones. "They weren't interested. I have never before found you so horribly _infuriating_ , Tony, because I did not believe you would lie to me flat out like that." She looked over at him then, eyes burning. Not with anger necessarily, but she was definitely upset. "And more than that, I don't understand _why_ you would lie. You know I care about you, and yet you-" 

"Didn't know," he rasped. It didn't hurt to talk anymore, but his voice still sounded damaged. He had no idea how long that was going to last, and when he'd asked Helen, she'd said that it might never go away. 

"What?" 

"I didn't know." 

"What? That's... That is the absolute _dumbest_ thing to come out of your mouth since we found you. We were in a relationship, I don't see how you could have misunderstood that. Or did you think you were hallucinating all our time together?" 

"Not hallucinating," he hedged, but from the look she gave him, there was no way she'd let this go until he told her the full truth. He sighed, looking away from her and at the bland dark grey of the box instead. "I thought it was pretty clear that it didn't mean that much to you." 

"And how," she said, voice carefully kept even, "was that clear." 

"You've never made it a secret what you like." 

"And how was this kept secret from you?" 

"You would've said something." 

"I didn't think I needed to," she said, and he glanced up at her. Her expression was serious. Not a hint of teasing or deception. "I thought you understood that I was not interested in a purely physical relationship. No offense Tony, but if all I wanted was sex, I could have gotten that somewhere else with far less risk. It wouldn't make sense to choose someone on the ship and risk the fallout from a breakup. Why wouldn't I have done the smart thing and chosen someone on a planet we visited?" 

"Not as convenient," he said on autopilot, even with the new realization that he'd been wrong. How had he been wrong? She'd... she had been right there, the whole time, and he was oblivious to it. Looking back, trying to find the hints of where he'd made a mistake, he couldn't see it. She cared for him because they were friends, he knew that for a fact. But right now she was looking at him, telling him that she had loved him this entire time, and it didn't compute. The most wonderful woman in the galaxy loved him, and he didn't believe it. How did this happen? She deserved better than that. Better than someone who doubted her at every turn, at every hour through their relationship. 

"I still don't understand," he said quietly, but she heard him. 

Her shoulders slumped, and she looked defeated. Greatest warrior in the realms, and she looked defeated because Tony was a dumbass. He truly did know how to bring himself to new lows. 

"How can I prove it to you? What can I do?" 

Tony cleared his throat, looking away. He fiddled uselessly with the crate in front of him. "Not really- not sure it's worth it. You know? We had fun, it was good, and it uh, ended in flames. There's no point in trying to patch this back together." 

There was silence for a moment, and then she was next to him, stilling his jittering fingers by covering them with her hand. "I love you. And you love me. That's two reasons to patch it back together. Wouldn't you agree?" 

Tony took a deep breath, trying to clear his head. All it did was remind him about how easy it was to take breaths now. No blockage. The blockage that had been there in the first place... fucking hell he didn't know what to do about any of this. It had been a damn long time since he struggled with something so simple. Just say yes, Tony. That's all she needed to hear, and it's all he wanted to say. What came out was, "I do love you." 

"And you do not believe that I feel the same." 

He looked over at her face, her hand still covering his. He actually had to tilt his head up to look at her, she had that little bit of height on him and he'd always loved it. Looking into her eyes though, well that hammered in how wrong he'd been. How wrong he currently was about all of this. 

Gamora had always been a woman of few words, and he'd known that from the very beginning. She didn't have to say everything she felt because her feelings were obvious from the way she acted. Gamora didn't do flings, she did either missions (years ago, never any time since Tony had known her) or a serious relationship. Tony had known that. He'd known that, and he ignored it anyways, and for what? Because he was a little insecure? 

Make that a lot insecure.

He'd gotten so caught up in... himself. So damn caught up in himself that he'd nearly died. That wasn't exactly new, but fuck if he didn't make the old look exciting again. 

She kept the one hand on his own, and she moved her other to curl his hair around his ear. It had gotten pretty long while he was sick. "What..." 

He shook his head and turned his hand over to catch her fingers. "You don't need to change anything. Don't have to do anything. I'm fine." 

"You weren't fine though. We can't risk that." 

"You can't get Hanahaki twice." It was like chicken pox, once you had it, it just wasn't possible to get it again. 

"That doesn't mean everything's fine." 

Tony sighed, leaning his head into her touch. She didn't radiate heat the same way humans did, but there was a concentrated warmth to her touch that he craved because it always meant that she was there, that she cared about him. 

She cared about him. He knew that. The way she stayed close and had caught every last one of those bleeding roses that had been meant for her even though she hadn't known it. The way she touched him like he was worth something. The way she was always happy to see him. _Love, love, love_ and he'd missed it. 

"Sorry," he said, an apology for so much more than a few lies in this conversation. 

"You're not going anywhere," she said, half question and half demand. 

"Nah, you can't get rid of me that easily. I grow on you like mold." He shot her a grin that was at least forty percent fake, and she smiled indulgently, pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

**Author's Note:**

> It hardly matters, but that doctor Tony sees in the beginning is one of The Stark that's why xe asked for a pic


End file.
